Reckless Abandon
“ . . . they left everything and followed Jesus.” ~ Luke 5:11b
What exactly does it mean to give up everything and follow Jesus? Does it mean we have to sell our house and all our earthly goods? Empty our bank accounts and donate our savings to charity? These are usually some of the first sacrificial acts that come to mind when this question is posed. But as I ponder this brief portion of Scripture, I believe the Holy Spirit is expanding my understanding of it.
Most of us can admit to having a weakness, an inner struggle we battle to gain control over, a relentless character flaw we strive to overcome. More often than not, the enemy will attack us in precisely these areas. I tend to struggle with fear and 'what-ifs', especially concerning my children.
During the years our sons were living a life of active drug addiction, fear frequently consumed me. I often succumbed to an overwhelming feeling of despair, my mind overtaken with incessant thoughts about the likelihood of imprisonment, lost dreams of what they might have become had addiction not taken control of their lives, and worst of all, crushing thoughts of having to bury our children. I was paralyzed with worry, at times barely able to function, wondering if the next phone call or knock at the door would be a death notification. For a woman who claims Jesus as her Lord and Savior, I felt like a complete failure as a Believer. I harshly condemned myself for my shortcomings, in spite of the fact that God clearly states in His Word that there is no condemnation for those in Christ. My default response, all too often, is to rely on how I FEEL rather than trusting in who God IS and what He SAYS.
Over the years, the Lord has been patiently teaching me to put my trust in Him, taking time to demonstrate to me, time and again, His flawless, trustworthy character. I am learning to focus my mind on His Word, even speaking them aloud, in order to redirect my thoughts and take captive my imagination. It isn’t easy and it hasn’t been instantaneous. Old habits and default-behaviors take time to conquer, but I know that my God is fully able to do what He says He will do. He is faithful to complete the work He began in me.
Our sons did eventually enter recovery, rejecting the life of addiction, surrendering wholeheartedly to the Lord. Their lives have been transformed not because I invested so much time and energy in fearfulness, but in spite of it. When there was nothing left for them but God, there He was! The moment our adult children turned and took a step toward their Creator, He ran to them with arms wide open!
For me, recklessly abandoning fear is a much greater endeavor than selling my possessions; resisting worry and focusing solely on my Lord is an ongoing struggle. The enemy is constant and consistent. As I fight back, advancing into his territory with the Sword of the Spirit {the Word of God} to reclaim what he has stolen, I gain spiritual strength and resolve.
Oftentimes in marriage, one is strong where another is weak, and vice versa. I believe God brings opposites together for exactly this reason. As Scripture states in Ecclesiastes 4:9-10:
“Two are better than one…if either of them falls down, one can help the other up.”
When one is too weak to fight, the other can take up arms and continue to do battle. When we make up for our spouse’s lack, and when we build our beloved up when he/she is powerless, we form a stronghold not easily defeated.
In my own marriage, my husband has offered compassion, gentleness, and patience when I’m struggling with worry and fear. His strength and steadfastness is a constant reminder of God’s. As much as I know I can trust my husband ~ and I trust him implicitly ~ I know that God is even more trustworthy than any human ever could be. Perfect peace can only be found when I relinquish my feelings and follow Jesus with reckless abandon.
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"Indeed, the Lord is the one who will keep on walking in front of you. He'll be with you and won't leave you or abandon you, so never be afraid and never be discouraged."
~ Deuteronomy 31:8