Listen Up!
Each of us is the product of our past . . . our upbringing, our influences, our choices, and our relationships. Often times, we develop preconceived ideas which dictate future responses to any given situation, resulting in distorted interpretations and reactions.
Suffering the torment of bullies in middle school caused me to be less tolerant of aggressive individuals in the future. The moment I perceived intimidation, I assumed the intent was to antagonize me. I immediately reacted with determined intensity in order to express my unwillingness to be unfairly dominated. To this day, I tend to meet any hint of intimidation exactly the same way.
Have you ever reacted or responded to your spouse based upon previous experiences? Personally, I’ve been guilty of this on more than one occasion. Sometimes I assume I know how my husband will respond to a given situation and I prematurely defend myself accordingly, only to discover that his response was nothing close to what I’d contrived in my own mind. Instead of carefully listening for the sake of accurate comprehension, I prepare myself for how I believe the conversation will unfold. Inevitably, my precipitous reaction blindsides both of us and causes undue conflict.
In the Old Testament, Moses applied the same faulty logic when God gave him a particular task to carry out. Rather than executing the Lord's instructions with careful exactness, it appears that Moses acted based on previous experiences:
“Then Moses raised his arm and struck the rock twice with his staff. Water gushed out, and the
community and their livestock drank.”
~ Numbers 20:11
Had Moses been paying attention to the directive, he wouldn’t have acted so hastily and, therefore, in error. God said to him:
"Take the staff, and you and your brother Aaron gather the assembly together. Speak to that rock before their eyes and it will pour out its water. You will bring water out of the rock for the community so they and their livestock can drink."
~ Numbers 20:8
Clearly, the Lord told Moses to speak to the rock. Yet Moses struck the rock with his staff. Why would he do this? Why would he alter God’s instructions? Perhaps Moses made an assumption based on previous events. Twice prior, God had commanded Moses to strike using his staff.
“Moses and Aaron did just as the Lord had commanded. He raised his staff in the presence of Pharaoh and his officials and struck the water of the Nile, and all the water was changed into blood.”
~ Exodus 7:20
“I will stand there before you by the rock at Horeb. Strike the rock, and water will come out of it for the people to drink. So Moses did this in the sight of the elders of Israel.”
~ Exodus 17:6
Although Scripture does not definitively state whether Moses' failure to accurately heed God's command was the result of willful disobedience or inadvertent assumption, it appears to be the latter. Sadly, there were profound consequences because of his lack of attentiveness:
“But the Lord said to Moses and Aaron, "Because you did not trust in Me enough to honor Me as holy in the sight of the Israelites, you will not bring this community into the land I give them."
~ Numbers 20:12
When we fail to truly listen to God’s Voice, we dishonor Him and quickly fall into disobedience and sin. When we fail to listen to the voice of our spouse to accurately discern what is being said, we fail to honor one another and fall into disharmony. We insert our distorted assumptions, thereby creating for ourselves complications that need not exist. We may be products of our past, but with God’s help, we can leave the past where it belongs and move forward in grace and understanding.
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“Assumptions are the termites of relationships.”
~ Henry Winkler