Comparison Shopping
- Oct 10, 2015
- 2 min read
Has your spouse ever said to you, “Why can’t you be more like so-and-so?” There are few more detrimental and hurtful phrases spoken between married couples. In one sentence, you’ve expressed your disappointment in your spouse, your disregard for their abilities, and your preferential opinion toward others. You’ve also exposed yourself as an arrogant, ungrateful, and discontented partner, and one who is self-gratifying, self-centered and self-serving.
There is great danger in comparing your spouse to others. While being constantly assaulted by the value placed on youth, beauty, and accomplishment in our culture, it’s difficult to maintain a God-ordained sense of self-worth. This becomes nearly impossible when our value as a person is attacked by our spouse from within the sacred bonds of our own marital relationship.
I’ve personally known married couples who engage in this destructive and devastating behavior. I’ve known individuals who compare their spouse’s sexual “performance” to that of previous relationships. I’ve known of those who complain that their spouse’s income level is lacking and therefore assume that he/she is lazy and refusing to live up to his/her full potential. I’ve also known of those who compare their spouse to other spouses who appear to be better marital partners.
The relationship between husband and wife should offer a safe place ~ a haven which
ensures validation of our God-given gifts, our character, and our worth. Our spouse
should be the one person above all others to whom we can run in times of trouble, and one who will offer emotional security and safety. Rather than bemoaning what our spouse may lack, we are to encourage one another in all things, and we are to value and cherish one another above all other human beings. We are to offer words of affirmation, not words of destruction. We are to lift one another up, not tear one another down. We are to cherish one another as a valuable and precious gift generously given by our benevolent Heavenly Father.
Perhaps your comparison shopping excursions have not appeared to cause any negative repercussions, but you can be sure that tiny fractures have damaged the foundation of your sacred relationship as a result of your careless lack of discretion. If you have been guilty of comparing your spouse to others in the past, there is still time to seek forgiveness and reconciliation ~ first from God, then from your spouse.
Purpose from this day forward to affirm, encourage, and appreciate your spouse. Value him or her in the same manner that our Creator values each of us. Vow to comparison shop no more, and to instead treasure the gift that God has blessed you with.
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“Comparison is the thief of joy.”
~ Theodore Roosevelt
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